Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Princess and the Pea
by soupduchess
Summary: The Dark Romantic's spin on a well-known fairy tale...


Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Princess and the Pea  
  
A throng of squirrels, scampering among the thickets of the primeval forest, and aided to and fro by the sprawling tendrils of a primordial oak tree, were blissfully leaping about, unaware of the solemnity of the day's doom, when a princess, with considerable doubt and hesitation, entered upon the depths of the woods. She cast her eyes furtively around, apparently having lost her pack of twittering chamber ladies while wandering away from her destined path, and so now stood luminous in the feminine gentility of those days, softened by the comeliness and embellishments of a royal figure, her features marred by only a wild, cloudy countenance that spoke volumes of her inner, broiling purgatory. The sun's privileged rays shot through the autumnal foliage, gracing every dark, gray corner with a life of its own, a vivacious strength, a breath full of blessing, a forceful spirit, an indescribable, exquisitely delicate, gorgeous, luxurious glow- but the Princess eluded the warming touch of that earnest sun, for she had chosen as her space of repose the rooted bottom of that ancient oak tree, underneath its vast arms and encased in mournful shadow, where she gloomily searched her dungeon for a method of survival.  
  
"O woe is me!" remarked the Princess in consternation. "Why didst I leave my ladies behind in this prison of vines and savage, elf-like creatures? Bereft of my face powder and other instruments of holy beauty, I shall be a disgrace upon the meeting of a human face!" Swooning in melancholy tears, she placed a nervous hand over her heavy bosom, now hiccuping cheerlessly and with the sorrows of a desperate traveler. "Unhappy oak, thou must lend me a release from this ignominious circumstance, else I shall not see the following sunrise!"  
  
There suddenly appeared, in the distance, a glimmer of a palatial kingdom, rising gently from the mists, glimmering in its majesty and ornate splendor, inciting the Princess to such a degree of excitement that she sprang up with renewed energies, and raced breathlessly towards that opulent sanctuary, for every step drew her closer to a wonderful promise of hot tea and large hall mirrors, and farther away from her pedestal of ugliness and shame.  
  
Having heard her timid strike upon the door, the Prince eagerly threw open the heavy iron frame. As a scholarly bachelor, he had been awaiting a female visitor for the long length of his weary life, and became mad with delight to see the Princess, however disheveled she appeared to be at that instant.  
  
"Why dost thou smile so at me?" inquired she, curious at the lurid gleam in his wide, staring eyes.  
  
"My Princess, our sweet union has arrived!" he exclaimed, straining to keep himself from enveloping her in a passionate embrace and plunging himself in that ravishing moment, but no!-no!-instead stepping aside for the flummoxed Princess. "Thou wilt be my purist undertaking, serving me with the kindness of a newborn doe unto my aging years, and providing me with a palace swelling with cherub-faced heirs. For in return, Princess, I shall give you anything you desire."  
  
"O regal and saintly Prince! Thy wishes will be fulfilled to the utmost if I am to become thy object to keep, for all I desire is the security, which will surely be given to me, of home and wardrobe. All that I seek, thou art grasping in your hands, and I pray that the honor of bearing thy children will become my faithful duty to thee!"  
  
With an unexpected bout of tender desperation, the Princess threw her tired arms around him, and pressed his head tightly against her bosom. She would not take the wilderness any longer-she must enter the castle this moment or suffer the dire conflicts of her troubling circumstance! "O but Prince, time grows incrementally briefer, and I fear my energies, which I have spent dishearteningly on carrying the shame of my haggardness, have drifted alongside the howling winds. Wilt thou yet take me as thou obedient bride? Wilt thou not wait a moment longer?"  
  
"Halt!" screamed a piercing, regal voice behind him. A matronly Queen appeared beside her son, reeking of the haughtiness of wealth, her face forever molded into a fearsome scowl of discontent. Turning to the Princess, she decreed with a firm, scornful glare, "Thou shall not enter my house unless thou remain triumphant and claim thy royal status after an examination of thy unerring veracity! We shall see if thou art a true Princess, as thou claim to be! For frauds litter our kingdom, and I cannot say with absolute certainty that thou, innocent and virginal though thou may lookest, art not one of them!!"  
  
The Princess looked terror-stricken at the Queen's demands. What were they? Could they be tests of virtue, piety-justice? "A truer Princess never uttered my words! What evil thing is at hand?" asked she with great apprehension.  
  
"Thou shalt witness the coming of the test of Princesses-ha!" the Queen answered with a knowing look, for throughout her days, the Queen had developed the level of expertise made prodigious use of in her detection of false Princesses who, through malicious machinations, used everything in their ill-wrought power to obtain a lucrative prize, that gullible yet admired Prince.  
  
That ponderous evening, the Princess was made to rest her fatigued figure upon a large heap of lofty bedding to which the Queen had placed but a single green pea underneath. "If she be a princess sincerely," the Queen quietly instructed her son, "She will neither feel joy or rest this night, but instead see wild apparitions in the dark, or perhaps the shadow of sin crowding before her bedchamber. If her words be true, she will be fitful with garish nightmares of which she will find no escape from tonight!"  
  
The Princess did sleep fitfully, with vivid, terrible visions of torn petticoats strung from a dozen disfigured mannequins, and vile imaginings of her delicate face powder dusting an entire dressing room until its fine particles smothered her ladies-in-waiting. The poor souls had gasped and gagged like desperate beasts for uncorrupted air, but their breath of life had already been banished to the dark place.  
  
The sun touched his rays upon the forest the next day, and yet his stretching fingers refused to encompass the castle where the Princess now resided in. The Queen bade the Princess sit for a careful interrogation, along with the Prince, who even now looked upon the Princess with lurid gleams of impatience shining in his wandering orbs. The Princess, having carried the weight of a restless night upon her fragile shoulders, shifted uncomfortably under a heavy cloak and listened with saddened ears, as she believed her trial would soon be closed with resounding echoes of failure and disgrace.  
  
But that was not to be! For the Queen broke into an unaccustomed smile and exclaimed, with finality and candor, "Thou art a princess! For thou art so wretched in thy misery, thou couldst not be anything else but a true princess!"  
  
The Prince brought his barely contained exuberance to the Princess's side and clasped her hands in his. Lowering his grateful lips to her own relieved ones, he offered his seal of unbreakable faithfulness, lingering several moments as the sun, awoken from his tranquil slumber, at last touched their temples in an everlasting embrace, a beautiful token of a continual remembrance devoid of spiteful shadow, and instead yawning with a incandescent light. 


End file.
